To Hate, Or Not To Hate

Sooooo, this one I can't even quite agree with myself on. My emotions tell me one thing, but logically I can't help with disagree with myself. This topic isn't really one I am excited about. But I figured it has been something that has been picking at me, so I might as well put it down to paper.

First, I would like to clarify. I fully believe anyone who sexually assaults a child should be executed. I'm not exaggerating there. It ties back to anyone who commits rape should be executed. And since a child cannot give consent, that is rape. Any politician who has the guts to go forward with that will have my support. People may call that extreme, but I don't think so. I think capital punishment is more than reasonable for a crime like that.

Which brings us to the point of this topic. As I said in the last post, I don't believe sexual orientation is a decision. I have known many gay people who wished they could convert to hetrosexuality because of how difficult being gay made their life, and found it impossible. Personally, I never remember making the decision to be straight. That is also scientific consensus. You'll find very few unbiased studies that say otherwise, if any. So until something concrete comes out otherwise, I am going to have to stick with that solution.

But this brings up an issue. If we do not choose who we are attracted to, can I hold a non-active pedophile rehensible for his/her predisposition? By non-active, I mean someone who is attracted to children, but who hasn't actually acted on it. Because anyone who acts on that is abusing a child and (in my opinion) subject to the penalty I described above. Currently, even if someone never acts on it, I feel fully justified in thinking they are an awful person. Being attracted to children is so disgusting to me, that I couldn't imagine lifting a finger to help someone being attacked for that. I can't even say that I wouldn't be an attacker.

Is it really fair for me to so vehemently hate someone who never had a choice who they are attracted to. In this episode of This American Life, a 19 year old realizes he is a pedophile, and talks about how difficult it was for him to find help for it. Even psychiatrists were disgusted by him and refused to help, even though he fully realized his attractions were a problem and went out to seek help for it. He started a support group to help pedophiles get help and to ensure that they never harmed a child.

That group fully understands that their attraction is wrong and hates that about themselves. Can I hate them when they never had a choice? Would that be any different from hating someone for the color of their skin, or disabilities they were born with, of the family they were born into? Logically, I cannot support that. But just because I am able to break that down to myself like that, leaves me unconvinced I want to change my attitude. This leaves me like a ship without a rudder. I do not want to go against my ethics and hate someone for something they didn't have a choice in. But I don't know if emotionally I am ready to make that adjustment in this case.


Our show on this topic:

The Slow Death of the American Dream

I believe there several reasons for the diminishing hope and the slow death of the “American Dream”. I know I know it sound like a drastic statement, almost apocalyptic. In some aspects it is. Many would place the blame for this squarely on the current administration of United States Government. Many would place the blame on the United States Government of the last 10 years as a whole. I don’t completely disagree that both of the theories have a valid place in the whole scheme of things. However, this evolution of the “American Dream” is nothing new. It has been happening since the 1990’s. Before I get started after reading this a lot of people will have some questions like, “Where the hell did he get data to support these claims?” “Does he have any data to support these claims?” In short no, I don’t have any data this is based on my personal opinion and experiences. I’ve been around the block more time than I like to think about and grew up far from a privileged and sheltered life, seen far more than my fair share. So these are the statements of someone who has been on all sides of the spectrum.

It all starts with the “Everyone is a Winner” campaign that started with the generation of kids born post 1990. First off NO, NO, NO, and NO. Not everyone is a winner. This is a very dangerous mindset to instill into children that will eventually be the generation that is supposed to provide the stability of this great nation. Now I understand why the “Everyone is a Winner” evolution seemed like a good idea at the time. Nobody wants to see their child upset for any reason. Not to mention wanting your child to be treated equally as other children. It’s human nature to want to protect your child. Granted there are parents out there that fail at even basic elements of human nature, however that is a whole other topic for a different day. The problem with this evolution is that by teaching children that they are always “winners” is a failure to prepare them for the future. If their substandard performance is embraced as great, this creates a mindset that what they just did is adequate or at worst perfect. This mindset prevents children and even adults from the drive to do better, study harder, practice harder.

The standards have even been lowered in in schools so low that as long as you go through the motions you will graduate. While this does result in more high school graduates, this cheats the students from being challenged, from stretching their thinking, and hinders their drive for greatness. A diploma does not make you intelligent. When you lower the standard of greatness, you lower the potential for greatness.

While the definition of the “American Dream” may vary depending on who ask, I took the liberty of looking up the definition to help keep everyone on the same page. “The “American Dream” is a national ethos of the United States, a set of ideals in which freedom includes the opportunity for prosperity and success, and an upward social mobility for the family and children, achieved through hard work in a society with few barriers”. Now that we are clear on what the “American Dream” is by definition. Let’s talk about what is not the “American Dream”. The “American Dream” is not sitting around expecting handouts while you sit on your ass. It is not Socialism. It is not taking from the actual hard working Americans and giving to those that chose to no to work towards bettering themselves or their families. The words that makes the “American Dream” the “American Dream” are, “opportunity for prosperity and success, and an upward social mobility for the family and children, achieved through hard work in a society with few barriers”. The key words here are OPPORTUNITY AND HARD WORK.  While I agree there is some room for improvement on the opportunity and barriers piece.

I feel that the current generations have this misconception that they are entitled to opportunity for prosperity and success through handouts, not HARD WORK. Now, my argument is, this is not completely their fault. I believe as a society we have enabled them to develop this mindset from adolescents. Unfortunately, now that we are at the point our society has decided instead of correcting our path, we along with the government should take care of these “Everyone is a Winner” disciples, which only perpetuates the cycle and embraces the idea “why work hard to better my life and situation, someone is going to give me what I need.” Thus causing the ideals of the “American Dream” to die a dishonorable death. Just remember that nothing is free and someone has to work hard and pay for your handouts.

If you’re not moving forward, you’re moving in the wrong direction.

Act 1: Inside the house

He steps around the couch nimbly.  Heading back to the kitchen granite counter where he had placed the knife to be retrieved at his convenience.

"Many people still believe in it you, you know".

His voice higher pitched than you would expect from a man his size.  More young professor than asthmatic nerd.  He grabbed the knife and walked to the right, avoiding the hassle of the coffee table on the other side.

"I mean, you drive around and see these signs on at night". He reaches her, grabs her wrist and slowly drags her to the couch with some effort.

"Like, what do they really do right? The idea is they speak to them all after they are gone.  Heaven or hell is regardless they can always contact them.  Either that or they are all blatant liars and if that is the case that says something about us as a society..."

He adjusts her bound feet and hands a little for her.  Licks his thumb and wipes the dribbles of blood coming from the cut on her forehead in that patronizing but loving way parents and guardians are wont to do.  

"But let’s tackle it one at a time", he sits on the living room table, back to the TV, facing her.  "First if they do, they can break the greatest frontier to anyone alive.  We therefore know unequivocally that death is not the end.  That is all fine and dandy but, to tell me you can access this communi...." 

A slight rattle shakes him, making him cough over his shoulder politely.  The TV is showing one of those helicopter angles of the house which make his gaze linger.  

"You know, it looks pretty good from the air.  Not every house does.  There is that church in....I'm not sure where it is but the punch line is it looks like a dick from above".  He turns back to face her. "Google it sometime. But as I was saying", he leans in, getting focused.  "They can access them anytime you want, meaning either they have no schedule or that time is a fluid concept yonder.  That means screw what the most high or the guy below had planned for you my friend, you are still at our beck and call".   

He absentmindedly places the tip of the knife to her knee, holding it there by the base of the handle with one finger.  

"I mean the arrogance right?  Like even if we could, don't these people deserve an unbothered hereafter?  Nature has taken its steam and we decide no, we still need to know what to do with your heirloom bedpan".  He places the knife in her lap.  "We can be the worst sometimes but the alternative is true too.  If that is all fake, which is my personal stance by the way, then we are trying to appease guilt and doubt for a price.  Is that noble? Is that swindling?  I mean, you still get what you pay for.  If you are willing to pay you already have the propensity to believe so the actor is getting paid to act and if they have opened a place up odds are you will get your money’s worth"

He stares at her knee as he says this, ignoring the bright, white spotlight sweeping through the kitchen.  

"But what does that say of us as a culture that we allow this for either reason.  Is feeding adults Santa Claus levels of fantasy or the ability to startle the passed on healthy?  Is this how you shore up people to be tough in hard times?  You could say it does no harm but neither did tobacco or babies sleeping on their backs".  

He tosses the knife in her lap and stands up to stretch, leaning side to side and taking a quick look outside.  He could swear he can see the reflection off the goggles under the black helmets.  Closest tree line he thinks.  Any minute now.  He casually looks back down at her.  

"That last one is a myth by the way but the point stands.  I just feel like life is hard enough as it is..." 

In a room close by there is a muffled thud and an almost inaudible groan as the third trap is sprung. 

He leans down and picks the gun up, stepping to the left and over the size 12 converse that are bound together.  "...give them the raw oats man, if we lose some along the way oh well.  Call it natural selection or God's design, they either couldn't cut it or it was their time.  Hey, that rhymed" He chuckles.  

He grabs the car keys off the hook, turns and pulls the flare from his pocket.  In one motion, he sets it off, bathing the room in bright neon red, 

"It should say something that there is only one challenge at the end of the day we can't avoid.  Death is the only one and even though there are no rules to this game unless you are a believer, trying to cheat by getting out of play answers is kind of pathetic if you think about it".  

He drops it and watches it quickly catch the gasoline trail on fire.  As it snakes towards the door, he opens the door to the garage.  A row of sharp objects attached to the board rigged by a pulley system lies on the floor.  There is blood on some of the scissors and knives and the window is slightly ajar. 

With some quick and measured steps he opens the Shelby GT door and steps in. "I mean, what kind of asshole or wimp wants to ruin the mystery.  Live life on your own terms.  I don't care if you want to veg out or turn up, do it your way and stop trying to figure it out that hard.  Cause I know the meaning of life"  

He turns the car on and revs it twice as the garage door starts to rise.  "Stick with me and I will tell you if you are lucky".  As he punches it, it barely clears the door.  He immediately swings it left, right over the yard, heading towards the neighbors.  As he hits the road sparks flare from the under carriage.  He jams the pedal down, ignoring the blazing two tone lights following him....

Gays in the military

This is an interesting topic for me, because of the seemingly conflicting views I have on it.

First, I totally support the gay rights movement. Mostly because I am part of a quickly dying group that believes free citizens should be allowed to do whatever they want, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. Before you support that view, you have to realize all that entails. Prostitution, drugs, suicide, are all acts that do not have a victim besides the perpetrators. Does that mean I support all of these? No, but I don't think we should legislate against it. Even though I would be horrified if someone I cared about became a prostitute, or got hooked on hard drugs, or wanted to kill themselves, I feel that the proper response is to convince them out of the situation, not send the law after them. A part of our freedoms should also be the freedom to destroy your own life. 

Now does that mean I think being gay destroys your life? Not at all. I have seen no evidence that it causes any harm, other than the harm self righteous people cause them by attacking them. I know the argument is still out whether being gay is something you're born with. But until it is solved, I would rather take the safe bet that it isn't a choice and support the people in that situation rather than the worst case scenario of banking on it being a choice, and harassing someone with a genetic predisposition to it. 

So with that out of the way, on to the actual topic. I do support having gays in the military, with a caveat. I do not think that being gay makes you a good fit for being in an infantry unit. Now just in case I haven't pissed you off yet, I'd like to add I don't think women in an infantry unit is a good fit either. NOW everyone should be good and angry, but try and hear me out on this. 

Why infantry units specifically? Because the way they are forced to operate, they cannot make the proper accommodations for women or gays. What accommodations would that be? For starters, the living situation. Being deployed in the military is not like having a regular job. You don't have to live with your coworkers, shower with them, sleep next to them, etc. With women in non-infantry units, they have separate living quarters and separate bathrooms and showers. If you gave 100 military leaders the option for separate living quarters or co-ed living quarters, I would bet on at least 90+ of them picking separate. That helps prevent a lot of drama. Not all, but a lot. But, for the most part, deployed infantry does not have that choice. Everyone will have to live together. Bathrooms have to be shared. Showers have to be shared. They do not have the freedom to split this stuff up like other units do. That means excess drama in the exact place we need the least.

Now someone out there is probably thinking "omg! Just because a gay guy sees you naked does NOT mean they will fall in love with you. Get over yourself". First, hypothetical person, I'm a beautiful man. I guarantee they would. Second, could you imagine telling this to a woman? "Hey LCpl Roberts, you can jump in the shower with all those guys. Don't bitch about it, it's not like they are all just going to fall in love with you because you're naked. If you want to shower you'll just have to deal with it!". If that ever happened we'd see it on the evening news and a bunch of feminists would be rightfully pissed. It wouldn't bother me a gay guy seeing me shower, but I can't extend that to everyone and act like they are wrong for being uncomfortable. I have met women who wouldn't be slightly bothered by showering with a bunch of men, does that mean we should force all women to not have separate showers? I think not.

Beyond the logistical issues, there is also how we want this unit to cooperate. There is a certain brotherhood that comes from having an all male unit. Not necessarily a good thing. If you are a guy and want to imagine it, think about locker room shenanigans back in high school. Now imagine that being your entire life for 6-12 months. I see you are disgusted, and rightfully so. That is not a good environment for civilized people, but when you are sending men to kill and die, it is probably the best one you can ask for. How would gays and women effect that? In my opinion, significantly. In these all male groups, problems can and often are solved with violence. That sounds like a bad thing, but it works. Instead of two guys hating each other and undermining each other for months like I have often seen happen in the real world, they can duke it out and be over it in minutes. I've seen guys beat the hell out of each other and be best friends before they even stopped bleeding. But add in a woman to that equation. Now one of them lost a fight, and lost it with a woman he may have fancied watching. That wound is not going to heal. Not to mention, seeing a woman being injured in combat would be particularly devastating. Seeing a dead man hurts the soul. A dead woman destroys it. I know it likely isn't politically correct, but seeing a dead woman or dead child in Iraq tore us apart, while we got mostly used to seeing dead men. I couldn't imagine how badly an infantry unit would be affected if a female in the unit was killed.

Sexual relationships are something that isn't a problem within an infantry squad (for the most part). Anyone reading this can probably think of one, two, a dozen times a group became totally screwed up due to a relationship interfering. Even the Beatles didn't survive that. That is trouble an infantry unit cannot afford to deal with, and it would happen a lot. You are talking about a bunch of late teens, early 20s people with raging hormones and no real adult supervision. In my wife's postal unit in the USMC, there was 10 women and 5 were pregnant, most of those by fellow Marines. Those numbers would be even more disastrous in an infantry unit when they are spending practically every waking moment together. So now you have unit cohesion falling apart because love triangles are developing, others have broken up and now hate each other, people competing for love interests and hating each other for the competition. This chaos will definitely effect unit performance, and can easily lead to service people being killed. Or mistakes made where others are wrongfully killed. 

To be clear, I totally believe there is women and gays more than tough enough to do the job. I just think the trade off with losing unit cohesion does not make it a beneficial situation. Now, will it break my heart if women and gays were thrown into infantry units and they were forced to deal with the changes in how the unit works together? Not at all. Maybe they will find a solution that I cannot think of to make it all work. But, I would rather we figure it out first before wrecking the abilities of our infantrymen and putting them in more harm than usual. Political correctness needs to take a back seat to unit effectiveness in this case.

Our show that will include this topic: