There is ongoing research showing that the way we experience something is at least as important as what we experience. Reading a book rather than seeing a video of something has markedly different ways you process that information. Being at an event affects you differently than seeing it on TV. To what extent it changes, we're not sure yet.
Which makes me wonder how much the way we as people experience things has changed rapidly in the present day. Think about it. How many years of humanity was it the only way I could relay a message to anyone was by speaking it directly to them? The best guess was about 100,000 years and that is constantly in argument. Then how many centuries was it it was solely the written word to relay information to one another? About another 3300 years until the telegraph was invented, and for many decades after the written word stayed king. Now it's cell phones, TVs, radio, internet and many growing new ways. Our bodies have not changed much over the last couple hundred years, but what we do with them has changed drastically.
Now think about experiences we all assume we share. Like being a child and how your parents handled and interacted with you. What being a kid and a teenager is like. We all assume it's by and large the same. But is it anymore, and how will we be impacted by those changes?
A friend of mine posted a video of a little girl having an intimate moment with her mother and little sister. Very cute and heartwarming video that a good amount of us can relate to having with our parents or having with our children. But think of how that little girl saw it. She was having a bonding moment with her family, and she is having a cell phone camera put in her face. She isn't just having a moment anymore, she was performing for the camera, and likely could hardly see her mother.
Don't think I am saying that lady did anything wrong. I have family across the world who want videos and pictures of our kids regularly. I don't want those families left out of important moments with my kids. If I had caught a close moment like that with my kids I would have been ecstatic that I got so lucky and posted it everywhere.
Look at my kids damn it!
But am I fundamentally changing how my kids are having experiences by shoving a camera into the equation? You go to a kids' school event these days and look at the parents, it's just a wall of the backs of their phones. Maybe an actual real camera or two for those folks who really went all out. The amount of parents' faces those kids can see can be counted on one hand. I remember having school events when I was a kid. I was a kid in the early nineties, not that long ago. There were cell phones, but few people had them and you were lucky if they actually could make a call, little on take 4K video and high definition pictures. When I would look out from those events I was doing what every other kid was doing. Seeking out my family. Can my kid do that with me? Only if they can recognize my cell phone case. They certainly can't see if I am looking enthusiastic, or happy, or proud.
Beyond even lack of facial recognition, how does putting an audience in the room change how kids interact? Now my kids aren't just adjusting how they are acting because of me, but also because of people viewing it on Facebook. My six year old knows how Facebook works and that videos of her get posted there. She has asked me to video her doing something and post it. How does her interaction with me change when she knows she is performing for the camera? I really doubt it has no effect. Think about those times you whipped out your camera to take a picture of something that the front facing camera was on. Not being prepared to be photographed makes you look ridiculous.
It's not exactly unknown that we adjust how we pose, act, and talk when a camera is on. Run up to a table full of people with a camera and watch the conversation stop and everyone adjust and straighten out for the camera. Take the picture and put it away and you can literally hear the sighs of relief from everyone as they relax again, stop sucking in their gut and pushing out their chest, and continue being human beings. That's with grown adults, many of whom grew up without a camera waiting around every corner. How is this affecting our impressionable kids getting cameras shoved in their faces from the time they are in diapers until the time they can own their own camera phones.
Lastly, what about the person holding the camera? Are they getting to be a part of the experience too? When I watch my favorite shows or events, whoever is holding the camera is not even part of the equation in my mind. You can probably think up a couple famous news anchors, how many of you can think of the name of a famous cameraman? I sure can't. Am I removing myself or my wife from important experiences with our children because we have been regulated to camera duty? Will my kids remember the person interacting with them, or the person whose head has been replaced by a camera phone?
Please don't take this as me chastising you or anyone else about how you raise your children. I don't know if it's a current issue, but it seems lately that parents can't talk to one another about possible issues without coming across as pretentious or stuck up. This article (and practically all the articles that I write) is based around me questioning myself, and how I am parenting. I have no evidence that putting a camera in family events makes things better or worse. I certainly understand why parents do it. Not only to be able to let family be a part of their kids' lives, but also to be able to go back to these videos and reminiscence as my wife and I do on occasion. My worry is that I definitely am seeing a change, and I am wondering what the long term consequences of these changes are. Are they really worth the trade off, or should I toss the damn phone and just enjoy the moment with the people who are most important to me?
Lastly, what about the person holding the camera? Are they getting to be a part of the experience too? When I watch my favorite shows or events, whoever is holding the camera is not even part of the equation in my mind. You can probably think up a couple famous news anchors, how many of you can think of the name of a famous cameraman? I sure can't. Am I removing myself or my wife from important experiences with our children because we have been regulated to camera duty? Will my kids remember the person interacting with them, or the person whose head has been replaced by a camera phone?
Please don't take this as me chastising you or anyone else about how you raise your children. I don't know if it's a current issue, but it seems lately that parents can't talk to one another about possible issues without coming across as pretentious or stuck up. This article (and practically all the articles that I write) is based around me questioning myself, and how I am parenting. I have no evidence that putting a camera in family events makes things better or worse. I certainly understand why parents do it. Not only to be able to let family be a part of their kids' lives, but also to be able to go back to these videos and reminiscence as my wife and I do on occasion. My worry is that I definitely am seeing a change, and I am wondering what the long term consequences of these changes are. Are they really worth the trade off, or should I toss the damn phone and just enjoy the moment with the people who are most important to me?
