They better act like Americans!

This is an interesting situation where I disagree with at least the motivations of an idea, but I have a solution that will not only work for my ideals, but the ideals I disagree with. A fun instance where the solution to both of our opposing problems is solved the same way.

The one I am talking about is the idea that if someone moves to the US, they should act like Americans.

Now, off the bat, I can see the appeal of this and I understand that there are a lot of people who this seems like common sense. I mean, if you go into someone else's home, you abide by their standards. Why should moving to another country be different?

But here are my issues. First, which Americans are they supposed to act like? Americans are wildly varied, not only because of the sheer size of the US means that there are very distant locations that are still in the same country. A walk from California to Maine leaves you in the same country the entire time. That same walk east from Israel would take you through Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, India, and into Tibet. Imagine how varied all of those cultures are in that same distance. But like any country, Americans vary even in the same locations. Which one of these Americans should they act like?

Also, I don't want immigrants to give up their culture just to move here. Anything that is "American" was brought over by the various cultures and coopted by us. Our culture was built brick by brick by the immigrants that came here. That isn't ancient history either, we are still doing it. Anyone had a sushi burrito yet? I am no food historian, but I would bet good money that started here and I appreciate it. I had a Pakistani burger not too long ago, and I know the people who invented it. Guess what everyone, it was a white guy and his Pakistani wife. Who'd have guessed? How many good things in America would we not have if we didn't allow immigrants to express themselves? How different would the America we know and love be?

My last issue with the above statement is being an American is about doing what you want with your life. That is why we love this country, that is why immigrants come to us. It's unamerican to force a fellow American to bend to suit you. 

But let's say you entirely disagree with me. You think if immigrants want to build a life here, they should ditch their baggage and become Americans. I've even heard that statement made by immigrants. One man I was talking to about why he didn't teach his kids his and his wife's native language. He said that they came here to be Americans and if he wanted to still be Chinese he would have stayed in China. He and his wife both refused to speak Chinese to each other and only did on occasions when they talked to family members who couldn't speak English. That is a powerful statement and one I certainly didn't argue with at the time.

So what is the magical solution that appeases both sets of people? Convert those immigrants yourself. Let me explain before people start building re-education centers.

Converting people unwillingly is ridiculously difficult. Have you ever tried to show a teenager why their boy/girlfriend is terrible for them? Any point you make is going to make them cling tighter to each other, and put them in the position of "it's us against the world!!!!". If there is anything all of us humans are not short of, it's ego. You put most people in that position and they are going to fight tooth and nail. You are going to lose that battle, or the costs are going to be too high.

Here's how you defeat them and convert them to Americans: Treat them like fellow Americans.

I am at an interesting position that seems to be getting a lot more common. I have a Pakistani wife (my in-laws were the burger inventors). I also have an African brother and his Mexican wife. So from my seat, I can see the inner workings of three different kinds of immigrant families. And you know what? America is winning. 

A big issue for some of the older generations of those families is their kids being "Americanized". My argument the whole time has been, "yeah, big damn surprise". Of course, when you bring your young children to another country or have kids in that other country, those kids are going to adopt the traits of their only known country. You came to America for a reason, and those kids aren't choosing whether or not to adopt the local culture, they are being forged by it. They are as much a part of it as you were when you were built by your culture.

The proof is in the pudding. Those families are all "Americanizing". The kids are intermarrying with other American races. They are adopting American mannerisms, American clothing, American music, the works. Whether they wanted to, or their parents wanted them to, they were becoming every bit as American as someone whose family has been here for generations.

So what can you do as Americans on both sides of the issue? Be these immigrants' neighbors. Invite them over for dinner, and join a dinner with them*. Take them out to the ball game. Take the most exotic immigrant you know, put some fireworks and a lighter in their hands on Fourth of July, and they'll be Americans before the last M80 goes off and the police break everything up. Many times I have taken immigrants and their kids out shooting and camping and riding dirt bikes. All American fun and they loved it.

You don't convert people to your culture by force. You convert them by dragging them along with you and making them feel like they already belong to your culture. Just be aware, they won't be the only ones changing.


*Beware fellow white people. That food is likely going to be very spicy. Take necessary precautions.